Now
by bore-ealis
Summary: Now was all they had. They couldn't afford to lose it.


Settings: Before the Promised Day.

* * *

The whole place was of uncertainty.

Lan Fan bit the insides of her cheeks; she tasted the brazen blood coming out of her swollen bite. She pushed her mask up to her forehead and inhaled deeply as the scent of damp earth and the queer ephemeral smell that seemed to be only present in the night filled her nostrils. It was only smart to open her _qi_; she pushed back her hood, exposing her hair to the night air and made sure that her knives were within reach should she need to draw them from her tunic. Releasing her qi made her breathe freely, as if there were tight cords tied around her throat preventing air to enter. She could sense all the happenings, the hullabaloos, the generating of power and heat, the idle humane steps as if they were small critters creeping up through her skin. She was a good few miles away from the little settlement, standing amongst the branches of the trees and taking up camouflage in it. Everything was within her scope, like an eagle roaming the desert, enough for her to be aware of the happenings and for just such occasions where precautions were a must.

The forest was of uncertainty.

There were shadows lurking within shadows, enemies within the shells of enemies. She shifted from the sight of the small village to the darker part of the forest. Lan Fan licked her lips and took in another deep breath. She sensed movements. _A hundred meters away from her post, it's quickening its pace. What is it? It's familiar; no not exactly._

She unsheathed one of her knives that was hidden in the back of her left arm. _The metal one. _She pivoted the knife along the digits of her prosthetic arm as it produced a clanking sound, metal against metal. Lan Fan returned to focusing on what was approaching her. From what she estimated at the moment, it was at least fifty meters away, picking up its speed. It was utterly moving fast, considering the limit of the light and the altitude of the unidentified creature's path.

Lan Fan clutched the handle of her dagger. She resorted back into her qi again. She felt it approaching, nearer and nearer. The rustlings of the leaves and the creaks of the branches started to become louder, indicating that the creature was getting so close to where she was standing. Everything was happening within flinches of nanoseconds; _thirty, twenty, ten, five meters away,_ yet she still couldn't make out the figure. It was faster than a blink of an eye. Just when Lan Fan was sure that it was ready to plunge against her, it disappeared right before her sight.

A formidable gush of adrenaline shot all throughout Lan Fan's veins. She cursed beneath her breath. _Shadows within shadows; enemies within enemies._ Whatever it was, it was smart and it had intentions. She quickly scanned the area, and then the small village then back to the direction from where the creature came from. Lan Fan cleared her throat; she was undeniably scared at the moment, her heart picking up its pace. Sure she was strong and competent enough of such dangers, because if she weren't, she wouldn't be a retainer of the young master in the first place. She could not be easily taken down by whatever foolish and mere ignorant. But this was how she lost her arm. It was a scheming act, inflicting its treacherous nails on her bones. She let her guard down, even if it was just for the slightest snap of time, and the next thing she knew, it was pain overwhelming her body and senses as she fell onto the ground.

"Hiya, dolly." It was a deep thick baritone voice with a tingle of something she could not really determine.

Lan Fan looked up to where the voice came from. It was a few trees from her tree. She positioned herself just so the creature had any intentions of attacking her. She squinted her eyes to take a clear look of what or who was it standing before a good measurable distance from her.

Then the next thing Lan Fan felt was like falling to an endless pit, or drowning, or a painfully ugly blow on her stomach or a combination of all. That was why this creature's qi was familiar. She wanted to punch herself hard in the guts for being unacceptably stupid.

"Young Master?" she croaked. Her voice came out shivering and weak.

The young master, or if he was the young master at all, tilted his head to the side and looked at her. Lan Fan felt a lump in her throat as she saw him inched forward to get a proper view of her face. It was young master, but there was something wrong…

The young master pushed his feet against the branch of the tree and landed on the same one where Lan Fan was. She didn't stand idle, though. He then recovered his equilibrium, arching his back and shoving his hands to his coat pockets complacently.

"So, what are you doing up here alone in the night, huh?" he asked. He was definitely not the young master. Not by the way he talked, his voice, how he made her uncomfortable. He flashed her a devious smile; Lan Fan felt estranged. She knew all the smiles of the young master, and she had not yet seen this one before. She knew his master like the back of her hand, from every strand of his hair, from every queer move and every unsteady breath, but this person was every bit and inch not her master.

"Homunculus," She seethed through her clenched teeth as her eyes bore straight right through his.

He sighed. "I have a name, you know." He placed his hands behind his head just like the way the young master did it. How dared he do that?

"Nameless or not, you are still a homunculus."

"It's Greed." He imposed. He took a few steps nearer her. If she was planning an escape, the chance had gotten away. She was basically caged by Greed and there was nowhere to go.

"Y'know dolly, I'll never really understand why you hate me so."

Lan Fan's features harden even more. He was obviously teasing her. He knew why she hated him so much. She vented out her hate for him through her actions; Greed looked from her face to her automail, clasping hard on a mere dragger. 'Oh, this was going to be such a night,' he thought to himself.

_'You wouldn't dare,'_ said a voice inside of Greed. There were a thousand of voices ringing inside the walls of Greed's stalwart mind, but this particular voice was much louder than those lone lost ones. It stood its ground and marked its authority: 'This is my body. I have accepted you to be a part of me.'

_'Oh, yeah? What if I would?'_

_'Greed,'_Ling said. _'you gave your word.'_

_'Relax, Princey. I'm not gonna hurt her. You know I don't fight women.'_

_'Then what is your purpose? Why did you come to her?'_

Greed chuckled. _'My purpose? My purpose? Ha, I don't know, but I guess I was just listening to little follies roaming around my head.'_

Ling didn't respond. It amused Greed in some way, getting to shut that annoying prince's mouth once in a while.

He returned back to Lan Fan. She was still all walls against him. He'd wanted some amusement; he's going to play.

"Well, dolly? Why do you hate me so much?"

Lan Fan pursed her lips. They were basically a few inches away from each other. She could sense his heat hovering near hers, and it somehow made her uncomfortable.

Greed had also sensed the sudden shift of her annoyance to uneasiness. It was one of the advantages of the body; Ling's body was competent of sensing qi and he just knew how discomforting the current situation was to Lan Fan. She riveted her knife and clutched it in between her fingers.

"Go ahead," Greed said, his lips curling up to a smirk. "try me."

Lan Fan gulped nervously. He knew how she couldn't raise a finger against the young master. It was her downfall. He wasn't young master, but she knew that there was still a lingering part that she knew within that homunculus. Al told her so, Ed promised her. She dared to believe.

"No."

Surprisingly, he took her metal arm, the one clutching the dagger, and positioned the tip against his right cheek. She was too dumfounded to react or to jerk her hand away from the young master's cheeks.

Lan Fan couldn't feel the contact; her metal arm prevented her from doing so. She tried with her all and everything to break free from Greed's touch but he was every bit stronger than her. Greed pressed the dagger to his cheek, slowly inserting pressure on it as its tip eventually tore the flesh.

Lan Fan looked away from his darting eyes; it beckoned unto her, and when she did look at his eyes, it condemned her.

Blood started to drip at the blade of the dagger. From her peripheral vision, Lan Fan could tell that he was not hurting. He was not displaying any traces of being hurt. Just when the slice was a few millimeters wide, Greed let go of Lan Fan's arm. She still didn't attempt to look at him.

It was like electricity. She felt it; it bore a little flashy light. She cautiously looked at the young master's face; the slice was slowly being patched up with brand new flesh. His skin was regenerating. It was instantly curing the fresh bruise. It wasn't like alkehestry, though. Alkehestry was more of a developmental or physical therapy. Something commonly used in medical fields. This was sorcery. Lan Fan looked at his right cheek, all well, as if a dagger had not sliced through it a few moments ago.

"You—your cheek! It's, what—how?"

Greed on the other hand, put up a smirk. 'She's quite amused, eh?' he thought. Lan Fan had lost her guard; at the moment, he could sense that she couldn't function or think easily.

_'Let me take over,'_said a voice. _'Please. For just a moment.'_

Greed didn't know what took over him, but somehow, he was easily convinced by Ling's voice. It was something like an unknown force taking over him. He did go to this place to relieve Ling, after all. He knew how much he always thought of the girl, how he would stumble upon his worldly thoughts about her. Greed was doing this for his sake. He submitted to Ling's wish.

The moment he took over the body, Ling took a deep breath. It felt as if he shouldered the whole world with discrete haunting voices lulling unto him, and he was relieved of it. He felt movements and vitality and life and it was warm, like his chest was set onto fire. But not the kind of fire that smothered him and made him want to scream and deprived him of oxygen; it was the kind of fire that made him want to run farther and farther and deeper through the heart of the woods.

But the constant rhythm of life was disturbed by an uneasy and unsettled movement. Ling turned around to face her, and just as so he smiled.

"Hi, Lan Fan."

For a moment, Lan Fan froze. Her whole body had gone numb at what she heard. The homunculus didn't refer to her by her name. And the voice…the voice was something she knew. She knew each and every tone of that voice, how it sounded when it was strained or hoarse in the early morn, when it was giddy or excited or annoyed, or hungry even. She tried to plunge back to her qi, and there she felt the presence she had always longed for.

It was Master Ling.

She doubted for a moment; she cringed. She was treading unsure waters, and she had drowned many times already.

"Hey," he said as he attempted to place a hand unto her shoulders, but pulled it back quickly.

She looked at him. She pursed her lips and tried to calm herself. "Young Master?"

Ling stared at her for a moment and took a few steps away from her. He noticed at how their current disposition was making Lan Fan uncomfortable. He smiled at her.

"Hi."

Lan Fan still couldn't believe it. It was the young master, stars' blessings to his name, standing before her with a stupid and complacent smile as if everything was fine.

"The homunculus? Where did—"

"It's fine, Lan Fan," he put a hand in the air. "He's not going to take over. Well, for at least a few minutes, I guess."

For some apparent reason, Ling chuckled. Lan Fan looked at his beaming face. She didn't notice that she smiled at the sight of Master Ling.

"There now, I wasn't really expecting for that smile tonight."

She felt heat crawling up from her nape to the back of her ears. She shouldn't had taken off her mask; putting it on would be a little too_obvious_ in attempt of hiding her flushed face. She lowered her head instead.

Ling sat down on the branch and let his legs dangle. "It's good to be out." His eyes lingered to the small village.

"Young Master?"

"Hmm?" he looked up and flashed Lan Fan a beamy smile.

Lan Fan opened her mouth but no words came out. She felt tears prickling at the corner of her eyes, a big lump forming at her throat. Her breathing started to become heavy and uneasy. She tried to find her countenance but it was hard to do so.

Ling noticed the unusual rise and fall of her shoulders and the heaving of her chest.

"Lan Fan," his voice stern and steady.

She tried to meet his eyes, but she knew that her tears would betray her, so she focused on Ling's lips instead.

"Yes, Master?"

"Everything's fine, you know?"

And for the first time that night, she thought so too. Everything was of uncertainty, but when the young master, when Ling assured her that everything was fine, she believed him.

She took a deep breath, inhaled through her nose, exhaled through her mouth. Lan Fan sat down beside Ling. She was so close to him that her metal arm met his. She could even feel his warmth and smell the uncertain scent of salt and grass in his hair. She didn't try to scoot away as far as there was available space; there were just only the two of them, them and them alone, her and the young master, and she knew that something like that was unlikely to occur sometime soon again.

They sat in silence. Lan Fan tried to focus on the small village, on the little stuffs hovering about. Once in a while, she would look up at Ling discreetly. He felt her look at him and glanced at her then she quickly strayed her eyes away from him.

_'I'm not giving you all night, you know?'_ it was Greed. He must have noticed his internal fidgeting. Ling was being impatient, but he didn't know where to start.

_'Hey, take it easy, Greed. I don't know where to start off.'_

_'Would you like me take over, then?'_ he said teasingly.

_'Okay, okay. There's no need to rush."_

_'I'd rush, if I were you.'_

Ling exhaled. He didn't want to put all efforts to waste. Not that he minded sitting under the stars with Lan Fan and simply doing nothing, but words needed to be exchanged. He had not seen her for months, and the thought of her and her grandfather being in danger constantly popped in his head.

"So," he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "I can see you got a, uh…"

Lan Fan looked at him, then to the direction of where his eyes were fixed. It was on her prosthetic arm.

"Automail?" she supplied.

"Ah, yes! Automail!" Ling exclaimed dumbly. "Did it, um, hurt? When they uh," Ling didn't really know the appropriate word for it, so he sort of made an action of putting the piece of automail in tact to the arm.

Lan Fan on the other hand, found what Ling did amusing. She chuckled lightly and shook her head. "It's nothing compared to what we've been through."

Ling felt a pang of guilt rise up to his esophagus like bile. It was not_we;_ it was more on Lan Fan's part. The pain, the burdens that weighed her down, she had more on her back compared to him. But regret didn't left anything on her; it didn't stop her. She even came back for him. Regret was all in his part.

"Do you not regret it?" he asked.

She looked at him, and this time, she locked her eyes at him. He gulped, preparing himself for the answer. "No."

He nodded as he clicked his tongue. "I see."

"Everything was worth it. If it is for our clan's glory, if it is for _your_glory, then I do not regret it."

"But I do." He mumbled under his breath.

Lan Fan's eyebrows scrunched. "What do you mean? That you regret everything we've done?"

"I regret putting you in danger."

Lan Fan didn't know how to respond. If either of them were to feel regret, it would take away a part of their dedication to their intentions. And if the tiniest thing went out of line, it could still make a drastic effect on everything, like a pebble hitting a placid body of water.

"I know that this is the right thing to do. To bring honor to the clan, to get the throne, that's the goal." He ran his fingers through his scalp, loosening the piece of cloth that pulled his hair back. "But I didn't consider this. Well, I thought I did, before we left Xing. I thought I was prepared for it but I had no idea that this would happen."

"You regret that?" she pulled her knees to her chest, her arms encircling around it as she tucked her chin over it. "But you have the philosopher's stone."

"And put Fu and your life in great peril." He chuckled humorlessly. "And the endless nights listening to the voices in my head."

"Is he…"

"Greed?" he raised his eyebrows in question. Reluctantly, as if the name Greed was taboo, she nodded.

"He's not really that bad. I mean, having a different voice ring through your head is so weird. What more when there are thousands of it?"

Lan Fan tilted her head. "Thousands?"

"It comes with the package." Ling tilted his head up to the skies, to the countless stars that pecked on the canvass of the night. The souls screaming along the walls of his head, longing for whatever there was to cling unto, were like the stars: _innumerable, infinite, countless, indefinite, interminable._

He recalled what Ed told him about the philosopher's stone, that it was made up of thousands of lives in order to make immortality possible. It was an unstoppable and powerful force. That was what he was looking for: immortality. Even before he had accepted Greed, avarice was in his nature, its venom sinking within the ivories of his bones. He wanted to grasp the whole world, the power, the glory, the wealth, everything.

And there, Lan Fan stood beside him, immovable and utterly steadfast to his indomitability, selfless to his selfishness.

This was his price to pay.

"Hey, Lan Fan?"

"Yes, Master?"

"After everything that's happened, are you still willing to die for me?" It sounded like a stupid question. It was, after all. But right now, he thought that it was the only thing to keep his sanity.

"Of course, milord. Nothing can change that." she said it, proud like the sun and without doubt.

"You know it's not going to be a uh, what did Ed call it, equivalent exchange?"

Ling noted Lan Fan's frown. It was probably out of confusion. "Why is that?"

"Well, I am immortal. You must have forgotten that."

"Oh." Her lips twitched to the side.

"You know, at times, I thought you were going to abandon me. Right after the encounter with Bradley, I was fairly convinced you'd never return. I won't feel bad if you do though; I deserve it." There was a small smile that crept up to the corners of young master's mouth.

Lan Fan felt a sharp internal blow. Blood shot through her irises as she gulped nervously. "Do you doubt me?"

Ling suddenly looked at her and shook his hands in the air in an act of disavowal. "What are you even saying? It's just that I thought that, I don't know. Surely it has come to your mind."

Lan Fan strayed her eyes from him; her fingers mindlessly toying with the scrapes of the trunks of the tree. For some reason, she was annoyed. Not by the young master; definitely not by the young master. She could never be annoyed by him. What annoyed her was what he was displaying. There was something in the chime of his voice; it was like an unsure north-wind traveling the route of the south. "Run away?" she continued fiddling with the wood. "No, that has never come to my mind. Not yet, I suppose."

Ling positioned his elbow against his thigh and plopped his chin upon his palm. "You're quite much more honorable than I am, then."

"Don't say that, Young Master." She mumbled beneath her breath.

Silence followed. It filled the atmosphere with a diabolic air. Lan Fan tried to eye the young master by the corner of her eye but she failed to do so. It was not that it was improper for her to look at him; she did that many times already since they reached Amestris, and in Amestris, they could not be questioned or condemned or looked down to. What prevented her from doing so was the fact that she did not know what to make out of what was Ling trying to tell her.

"I could always just run away." Ling thought to himself.

Lan Fan's eyes widened as a small gasp escaped from her lips. Ling looked at her and then he realized that he actually said those words out loud. She shook her head violently, "You wouldn't, Young Master."

"What if I do run away? Huh, Lan Fan? Would you still follow me? Would you still come back?"

"You're talking nonsense, Young Master. You won't run away."

Ling smiled as he lowered his head downwards.

_'She's seems so loyal,'_ Greed snickered from inside his head. _'So loyal, that you can't even bear the thought of her leaving you. What's your point, kid? What's with all these interrogations, huh?'_

Ling disregarded Greed. He wanted to be with Lan Fan. It seemed too much; impossible even. They were bound, since ever, to be together, master and servant, all because of duty and upholding dignity and honor. But Ling Yao, as greedy and selfish and avaricious as the homunculus that had took residence within him, wanted more of her. He wanted to know, he wanted to make sure if she would stay by his side even if nothing or no one required her to do so.

"Master?" Lan Fan said, pulling him away from his futile thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"If you really are planning on running away," she cleared her throat. "I'd accompany you. I'd still follow you. If that is what you want."

Ling's mouth twitched to the side. He ruefully scratched his head. "Lan Fan, you don't—"

"It is my duty to look after you and stay by your side for as long as I am alive. Always, through hell or to Xing or here in Amestris or anywhere in the world. Nothing can change that."

Ling leant back, his arms supporting him. "Even if I run away? Even if I neglect my duties?"

Lan Fan licked her lips and nodded her head. "Yes."

"Ah, that's not really fair. Especially to you."

"Why is that, Young Master?"

"You'd only do it because it is your duty. I'd neglect mine and run away." Ling despised himself for saying that. He was basically asking more from and of Lan Fan. She had always given her all and everything to him; what he was doing is way beyond fair to Lan Fan's part. He wanted to take back what he said, and she to take back hers. He felt that she needed to hate him, to despise him.

"That's not true."

He looked at her through his hair that covered partly of his eyes. "What do you mean?"

Lan Fan lifted her head to look around her surroundings. She tried not to look at Ling as she quickly scanned the area again. She searched for unnecessary noises, and then she dived to her qi, stretching as far as it allowed her. After a minute of inspecting, she calmed herself and took deep breaths at long intervals.

"I'd still come with you, you know." She felt heat gathering up at the base of her cheeks, so she lowered her head. "Even if it is no longer my duty. Now is all we have. I couldn't afford to lose it. It isn't a matter of duty anymore. Once we're back in Xing, we would never be given this opportunity again."

If Ling was surprised at Lan Fan's abrupt courage, he didn't show it. Lan Fan tried to sense him, but there were too much emotions screeching from him. She did not know which one was his. It probably came from the thousands of souls that resided within the young master.

"We'd have more than what we have now if we run away."

"Now, a split second of time, to be converted as forever," she smiled at the thought. "That would be lovely."

"I think so too."

"But, I know you, Master." She looked at him straight to the eyes. "You wouldn't run away. You'd come back. And this," she lifted her left arm for him to see. "And everything else would pay off."

Ling sighed. Lan Fan was really insistent on what she believed. He thought that maybe, he could just leave it there. Besides, it was impossible to move her. She was irrevocable. "You're right."

She blinked. For a moment, she seemed to doubt that her young master agreed. But then again, she simply knew. She offered her a reserved smile.

"Do you honestly believe though, that _now_ is all we have?"

Lan Fan's eyebrows scrunched. She bit her lip as she thought. _Now_was all they had, for the both of them. "Tomorrow doesn't guarantee it, Young Master."

"And?"

"And now is what we really all have."

"Right," Ling stood up from his seat and rubbed his hands against each other, as if he was conspiring something. Lan Fan gulped knowing that she would tag along. "How about we make a deal?"

"A—a deal?"

He nodded his head and placed his hands upon his waist. "Yeah, a deal."

"Well um, okay. What would it be about?" she stood up as well. She slipped unnoticeably but she shuffled quickly back to her feet and regained her balance.

"Equivalent exchange."

"Edward," she smiled. "Really rubbed his alchemy beliefs on you, did he not?"

Ling smirked. "Can't say he hasn't. Okay, here's the deal."

She straightened herself, Ling inhaling deeply. "The moment everything's over, this war, the Promised Day, the moment we get back to Xing, promise me you'll stay."

Lan Fan tilted her head in confusion. Did she not say it earlier that she would stay with him come what may? "I, uh, I don't—"

"In return," he said, cutting her off. He reached over to her, his right hand caressing her face. Lan Fan gulped. She felt her neck and face were deep red at the unusual contact. "When I'm king, and everything's in order and our clan's finally saved, I'll find a way to have that now forever."

She couldn't help it. She leaned in to his touch with so much eagerness and fondness, embracing all the warmth despite the callous skin. His touch felt like her lifeline, like it was the only thing that kept her alive, the boundary of insanity. She held unto his hand with both of her hands, the flesh and metal.

She nodded her head. "I promise."

He thumbed her cheeks and smiled roguishly. "It's a deal, then."

"Yes," she chuckled. It was a conscious chuckle, reluctant like a small meager bird about to take off on its first flight, but nevertheless, with hope.

He'd wait. They'd both wait. It was the part of the deal after all. There were still a lot to be done. Besides, the deal was set until they achieve it. It would be set forever if ever. But neither of them cared. They hoped, they anticipated, they looked forward to it. Even Greed looked forward to it; one wouldn't really be all giddy after witnessing something the like.

Right now, Ling wouldn't dare to say anything that was beyond the borders. Right now, Lan Fan would behave the way she did before keeping the promise. Right now, he would only let his hands caress her cold-stricken cheeks, and she, to hold onto his touch. Neither of them attempted to do something rash or anything beyond the deal. That was all; nothing more, nothing else. When the sun peeked up again, they would part. He would resort back to wherever Greed would go, and she would temporarily adjust to the small village where they stood a few miles away with Fu and wear that mask again. Of course they knew that Fu would eventually know. They still took the risk; it came along with the deal.

Now, at the very moment, they embraced the fragment of a perpetual promise with all their bottled up hopes.

Now was all they had. They couldn't afford to lose it.

* * *

A/N: Yes, it's finally through. I can't believe that I've actually written this down. I had this idea for a long time, you know.

You could just pretend that this took place before the Promised Day. I know it's really dragging and boring but hey. And about Greed's cameo appearance, I honestly don't know what happened there. It was much more convincing when I had it in my mind.


End file.
